My notes on my cystoscopy or gawd help me !!!

This is just a quick note on my experiences of the above medical procedure.

Now before I get going I will say the Staff at St Peter’s at Chertsey were great and looked after me wonderfully.

I had to turn up at 7:30 having eaten and drunk nought (bar the odd sip of water and an ibruprofen tablet or two) since the night before – for me this was no problem, I often ride at the weekends before breakfast !

I turned up with dressing gown and slippers – they wouldn’t let me get a pipe and labrador !

After being checked for blood pressure, blood sugar etc and a collection of questions I had to get changed, my new attire was to be disposable pants (think string knickers)! dressing gown, backless medical gown and slippers.

Later on the attire was boosted by knee length toeless stockings – yep dead sexy NOT !

I was interviewed by the surgeon, and anaesthetist with various forms signed

Then I waited before being called where I had to remove my gown and slippers, before a cannula was inserted in the back of hand with monitors attached to my chest.

The anaesthetist then injected into the cannula an antibiotic, and a pinkiller then something else – guess it was the anaesthetic because I came back to the land of the living in a different room having had the procudure!

I was wheeled to a recovery suite where I had to sit up and was offered a tea or coffee, various biscuits and a big jug of water – all of which were welcomed 🙂

When It was clear I wasn’t going to nod off I was told to get changed – this was a wake up call – the string knickers were gone, and the Right Honourable Member for Underpants (RHMU) was resting in disposable pee pot and it had blood on it !!

I got dressed and was offered more tea, coffee etc.

At this point they went and got Iren and told me that once I passed 250ml (half a pint) or more in total of pee I could go home.

Now given that guts here had been guzzling tea, and water it was obvious that the wait would not be long.

!/2 hour later I wandered into a side room and performed as requested, and delivered over 325 ml with some mild discomfort.

I was now discharged and sent home where obviously I needed to pee again, and discovered that the painkillers had now worn off – windows were in grave danger of shattering and dogs were going deaf, not bad for late lunchtime!!

There was a tiny amount of blood, but it felt like I was passing battery acid !!

For the rest of the day I dreaded the visit to the smallest but the pain was a bit less each time (or I was getting numb to it) and after about 6 visits I was sure that I could see no blood.

After waking the next morning the pain was light and no blood could be seen, except where the RHMU had dribbled in the night – embarrassment time.

and now things took a turn for the worst, with all the peeing I was slightly dehydrated so had some constipation which needed to be strained out, this upset the healing of the RHMU so the pain came back, however it has faded during the day.

when I was discharged I was given a report that stated that no chancer was found in the bladder, and my prostrate was fine – now call me daft but don’t you check for that on the other side (back side)?

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